Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
