actually, I'm a sock model
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
