dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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