we have officially lost it.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
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So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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