If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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