you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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