No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
