You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
