Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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