Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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