I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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