we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think I won the penis lottery.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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