4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
