what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
try to milk me bitch
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