Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
