Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
