dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
