my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The struggles of a small town man whore
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
