I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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