my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
