we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
