I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
