I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
