I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You don't make any sense
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