so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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