Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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