I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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