I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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