..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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