C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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