she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize