you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
