this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
