I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
