Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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