it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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