just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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