I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
