i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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