wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
