There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize