so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
