weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
