Your mouth is God's brothel.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize