**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
