nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
