why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
