I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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