ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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