I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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