hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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