i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
