problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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