I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
