i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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