I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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