you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
