So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
