he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have fence marks all over my body
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
