he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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