Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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