Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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