well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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