Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
