oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
