I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
nutella sex= disaster
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
