I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
